NOTE: I'm not spell checking this. Because I can. So deal with it.
Sorry I kinda of...you know...dissapeared after talking about inflicting pain upon my own person. I asked Rachel if there was a techincal name for them.
"Yes. Emo."
I laughed. That felt good.
I am an Emo.
Sixth, thanks for the offer to pick someone off. I have a certain fellow in mind, but he's not the reason I've been so angsty. *sigh* I'm a little overwhelmed right now, thats all.
So much is suddenly pressing in on me, and I've never been so tempted to cave under pressure before. But I won't let myself, and so...yeah...life is just really hard right now. I can't even have a good time anymore without spending half my time thinking about the other things I need to be getting done with. Plus today I have to tell the people I was rooming with that I can't room with them...and they alread found an apartment...and they are going to be hacked...and possibly make the rest of the college days here a living hell. And I know they could.
Plus I need money for Master Works (www.masterworksfestival.com) (I think). And I need it soon.
I need to fill out all the paperwork for the grant money, and make an audition tape. I just got a reply back from my college play director that he would write my other refferance letter, so thats one thing I don't have to worry about anymore.
I have to figure out where I'm going to live, and how I'm going to make a living while I'm at college.
I have to decide exactly what I'm going to focus on, and if I'm going to sing for choir (yeah yeah yeah, not stressfull. Actually it is).
I also told the library that I was done June 22. I leave the 24th or 25th. I will be gone for a month. Not just you know, out of the house, but I will just be gone from this town, like I moved away to a another college. And then I have to come back.
There is just so much pressure right now. And I need to get my graduation ceremony invitations out today or tomorrow. I'm going out of my mind, trying to keep everything straight, and I need a cell phone. My sister is giving me one, but mom and dad already threw a fit about that idea a couple months ago. So thats another fight with them to put on the list.
I'm just...tired. And frustrated. And I got an amazingly painful sunburn before I started using sunscreen...that I ended up being alergic to...so I had an itcy sunburn for two days...then I burned the crap out of myself again at the highschool graduation yesterday.
I feel old.
I feel haggard.
I feel like I've gained 15 pounds. But I don't think I have.
I'm throwing another pity party, aren't I?
-Shell
p.s. Carol, congrat (again) on your mom. I'm am a god-sister now. Hooray! My computer is being way too slow to load your blog right now. Perhaps I can comment tomorrow.
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11 comments:
**in reference to sixth's comment on last blog
oh please oh please oh please!! I want to do one of those top secret get-rid-of-all-evidence-including-the-body missions! Maybe we can do some really rich guy and make him leave all his money to you! Then we have taken care of TWO problems!
I am entirely too peppy for right now.
lendiel, if i'm going to be doing any rich guy, he better be seriously rich. bill gates rich. he can put whatever he wants, wherever he wants. as long as im getting paid in full.
peppy is so not a good word. why woudl you use that word.
So, I'm guessing you can't house sit for us because you are going to that theatre thing. Correct?
Oh, by the way, sixth, I was peppy and that was bad. Can't you tell?
Wait...graduation invites? Did I get one?
your blog just scared the crap out of me. i'm tired. i'm half asleep. i log on, and after about seven seconds i can hear some guy singing from the corner of my room. [my speakers were off, just the headset was on] and it scared the crap out of me. what kind of creepy serial killer sings before killing someone.
hey, you wanna give me those 15 gained pounds. i need to gain some poundage, desperately
Sooo, that's it? After all those posts, that's all you have to say? I put the pic on there so Charlie could see it b/c we were talking and I was doing it.
hey - you still owe prom pics
what the hell, woman?
we demand a new blog. unless you're dead. then we just need dates so we can bring flowers and tell other mourners that you didn't like them much.
if you're not dead and have simply lost the ability to blog. lost hands, computer dead, brain dead, ronald mcdonald - then we'll get you one of those computers you can blink to. unless you're brain dead. then it woudlnt work.
If she's brain dead, we can just make it up for her. It's not like she would care! She would be brain dead! I can probably find out her password, too.
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