Must it always be amusing?

Today was a better day than yesterday. I ended up at my voice teachers for like, an hour and a half instead of half an hour. We got a lot done and fixed stuff for the show and I now have a little more insite on college. She really does rock.

Soccer practice was actually kind of good too. We did completely new drills and it was amusing for me to watch. Kinda frustrating. I was going to apologize to the team for my crappy attitude during the game, but then Sean showed up and he's not really part of the team and it would have been weird for me to be saying sorry while someone who wasn't even part of the evil moment was there. Pride is a strong thing.

Mariha and I went out for coffee and met Sean and Justin at the coffee house and had an interesting hour there. I swear, those two when they are together, cannot have a serious conversation. It was not as amusing as usual, which I enjoyed. It would be nice to actually talk about stuff that mattered, ya know? And I had hot coffee spilled on me when I made a dive for the like, $200 Justin handed Sean. But we ended the conversation with a serious question.

Justin has these butterfly knives and they kinda make me nervouse. Not because he would ever do anything really stupid with them or use them on anyone, I just don't like him flicking them around when people are around who don't understand what kind of a person he is. Sean has them too. But they were flinging them around and Mariha and I told them to put them away. They were curiouse as to why we cared. So I said it wasn't a good example in this day and age, and asked if they wanted people to be afraid of them.

There reply was "Actually, it's kinda fun."

So I asked them what they wanted to be remembered by. When they were dying, and looking back on their life, what did they want to see that really mattered? Fame doesn't really matter. The only famous person that people have remembered forever is Jesus. Money won't save you from dying and doesn't really matter at the end. Things that really matter in end, like what kind of person they were, what they did in their lives that effected others, and would people remember them as Christians and would it make any difference to them if they did?

We had to leave before they stopped joking long enough to give us a real answer. But we agreed there would be an answer next time we all hung out.

I love questions like that. They really make you think about your life. Can you honestly answer a question like that? And if you can, do you want to be a certain thing badly enough to spend your entire life becoming it? No one seems to spend anytime thinking about the future. We look ahead at most, a few years, and hope for the best. And if we do look ahead, its all perfectly planned out and when something goes wrong, we all fall apart and give up the dream we've been chasing for years. What kind of people would be all be if we truly strived our entire lives to become the best person we could possibly be. Never gave up on our dreams, never let things go by, never did half a job, and didn't ever look down on other people. Where would we be? We would have a society in which crime would plummet and the people who are living on Social Security and don't need it, would no long be on it, which would help get rid of the S.S. crisis, just for starters. The positive changes on the world would be staggering.

Would Europe be facing de-population? They estimate that Japan will lose over 100 million people within the next 50 years. Europe will fall into far worse peices than the United States in is now simply because the people have failed to increase population. What is a country without people? All of these people in their 30's who refuse to have children and expect to retire early, but who will support them? If the generation coming up is smaller than the current generation, the problem of supporting them is going to be massive and have no easy answer.

I'm not saying to go out and have a bazillion children, but how do you expect small things like, national debt to decrease if there are not enough people coming up to pay enough taxes? Does anyone really care what happens to the people after us when we all die? I've grown up and seen the generation in front of me that doesn't care. They want wealth and to look as good as possible. Not only do they not care what happens when they die, they don't even have time for us now while we're alive. Will we, the kids from the the 80's and 90's, do anything different than what we have seen? Raised to strive for perfection in the way we look and to be in the highest social class we can possibly be in, will there be enough of us who can look ahead to the big picture and care enough to try and change?

Personaly, I'm hopin the rapture happens before I'm old and have to retire. But every single generation has believed it would happen in their time, so I am forced to make a decision. Is there really any difference that I can make? Little, short, country girl. All I really want to do is become a play director and meet a guy who can carry on conversations about stuff that matters and not be afraid to do what is right, no matter what people think of him. It's hard for me to realize that there has to be more done in my lifetime than I can ever accomplish.

I gotta go, (brother wants his computer back) but I truly wish that there were more people who cared about anything but the here-and-now.

Later
-Shell