So I had messed up protien levels. Again
And I was Disqualified from the Marines.
And now I'm more depressed than I have ever been in my entire life. Ya'll know me - I bounce back like a freakin tennis ball. But I don't think I have ever cried so hard in my entire life. I honestly cannot remember ever crying that hard.
Apparently it is a symptom that can lead to kidney problems and diabeties???? THE HECK! I don't understand!
I work out at least 2 hours almost every single day. I have played soccer all my life, done martial arts, never been sick a day in my life! I honestly can only remember even having the flu a couple times in my entire life.
And I felt like this was really what I was supposed to do.
I have never been so confused. I am just...lost. I feel like I'm standing in this empty room without any doors. And its a really boring room with nothing to do and no where to go. I've never NOT had a direction to go. Ever. I have always known exactly what I wanted to do.
I just don't understand.
What now?
WHAT FREAKING NOW?!?!
I'm sorry you guys have to hear me rant. Its not something I should be yelling at anyone, I'm just so frustrated and I've never wanted a hug so badly. I don't really like hugs (unless they're from Allen and thats a different story, haha), I mean, they are ok and I hug people but I never WANT a hug.
And now I do.
But there is no one to hug.
People say they are sorry and "It must not be God's plan."
WELL THEN WHAT IS?!?! DO YOU MIND?!!?!
I hate crying. It sucks. And its hurting my eyes. I need to go take my contacts out...
Love you all, and miss you. SIXTH! Step lively my Candian friend! CAROL! Lets do something retarded this summer, eh?
-Shell
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1 comment:
Dude, that sucks. Also, as I was reading that, I was thinking to myself, "Hey, I could say something tacky like, 'It's the G-Man's plan' and totally not get railed for it." and then you went ahead ruined it. You took away my tacky moments.
Inappropriate Addition - There's always the friendly folk at Black Water Mercenaries. Seriously, joking. Do not sign up with those fuckers.
Also, find me online [or email, which is completely less creepy]. I had a whole bunch of questions and things to ask you.
Don't be too down. You gave something you wanted to do your all and now you're now free to do whatever else you want.
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