I'm going to the opium dens! Yes, opium dens, dens of vice and criminals' hangouts, Mother. I've joined the Hogan gang, I'm a hired assassin, I carry a tommy-gun in a violin case! I run a string of cat-houses in the Valley! They call me Killer, Killer Wingfield, I'm leading a double-life, a simple, honest warehouse worker by day, by night a dynamic czar of the underworld, Mother. I go to gambling casinos, I spin away fortunes on the roulette table! I wear a patch over one eye and a false mustache, sometimes I put on green whiskers. On those occasions they call me - El Diablo! Oh, I could tell you things to make you sleepless! My enemies plan to dynamite this place. They're going to blow us all sky-high some night! I'll be glad, very happy, and so will you! You'll go up, up on a broomstick, over Blue Mountain with seventeen gentleman callers! You ugly - babbling old - witch....
Hope that gave everyone a nice warm feeling.
And I have at last managed to secure a traffic citation from the prestigious Cowley College IWBAPO (I Want To Be A Police Officer). Suckers...they only knew I did something wrong because they were standing across the street when I was laughing about it.
NOTE: Justin, you were right, they don't like it when you drive down that one way street at Cowley the wrong way. But come on! I didn't drive more than 20 yards! I was parked facing North. Wow. Ahahaha! Plus the "ticket" said that traffic conditions were "light". For some reason this made me laugh. It was a parking lot.
But seriously, they didn't even ask if I had a license to drive. And they were checking out my sweet ride with a friggin flashlight. What? If I had dead bodies in there, I wouldn't sit them up and strap them in the front seat. Would I...?
-Shell
9 comments:
Ha Ha HA!! I got here before sixth!!! Anywho, I think I shall post those dreams that I drempt and told you about. But right now I have to get something to eat before I faint or something like that. It's 2:08 am. I am tired but can't get to bed and Katie is having her birthday sleepover and I am completely rambling. I like the IWBAPO. YOU HAVE TO POST THE SHOES!!!!
Carol
there, a new blog.
sorry, i've been out of the loop. work is killing me. i'll read and reply later.
just letting you know i'm alive.
That's not good enough.
dude, driving arond with dead bodies is never a good idea. you get get pulled over because they think you've got drukns in your car and then they realize they're dead and then it becomes a whole issue of killing the cop and having one more body to deal with. and if all the seats are taken and the trunk is full, you gotta lie it down across the laps of the bodies in the back and it flops around until rigormortis kicks in and then it thumps around. plus, its a fresh body so there's the problem of all the fecal matter and other various bodily fliuds. its not pleasant. long story short, dead bodies in car, not a good idea.
now, here's how you want to get rid of dead bodies.
method one. remove the teeth. then cut body into 8 pieces. feed em to hungry animals. week starved pigs work best. they can eat bones without much effort. you live in kansas. im guessng pigs shoudlnt be hard to find. pigs have a hard time digesting teeth though. too hard.
method two. contact sixth. he'll take of it.
You know, there is a third method. It involves a contact (aka me) to take care of all the...unpleasant hassle between body disposer (aka sixth) and the bad driving-citation-getting killer (aka shell). Personally, that is my favorite because then we (sixth and me) would finally be able to work out our differences between us by a good old fasioned get-rid-of-the-incriminating-evidence mission.
lendiel makes an excellent point?
ok shell, time for you to go kill some people. if you're unsure about who, i've got a list. driving through the mall will also suffice. once you're done, let us know and we'll do our thing, ninja monkey/british ganster style.
MI3 is cool.
tom cruis is a freak - im not sure i can justify watching it in theatres. thats 14 bucks i'll never see. i don't even know if i can justify the 4 dollar bootleg.
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