Closing night

Ahhh...the play is over.
Last night went well. I sang the best I ever had (in my opinion) and yeah. My acting was not as good in my mind. Simply because I just couldn't get into the character. My mind was completely someplace else. I don't even know where, it just wasn't there. Like last Saturday, I was sssooo into my character. But I had done the play enough times that even though my mind wasn't there, I could still act it out because I knew what I was going to do. I think I was starting to get bored with it.

It's crazy that I actually lived through it. I can look back at journal entries and blogs and see that I thought I was going to die. And I didn't. I did pretty darned well for my first solo-leading-actress part. YAY ME!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

We had enough 'Coffee Questions' meeting yesterday. (Coffee Questions is me, Mariha, Sean and Justin. We all get together and drink coffee and discuss very important stuff. Really. It's the only time I've ever purposly had a group of people who got together in order to be serious.) It went pretty well. I have such a hard time answering a lot of those questions.

Last night I had to finish answering the question 'What do you want to be known as when you die.' You know, what do you want people to have said about you and that kinda stuff. What are your dreams? Are you planning on getting married and having kids?

It was WAY hard for me. It wouldn't have been if it had just been Mariha, because she's like my sister. But in front of Sean and Justin was hard. I don't know them that well at all so it's really, really weird to tell them stuff like that. Justin had to answer the same question (Sean and Mariha had in the last meeting) and he is way worse about telling stuff like that then I am. I don't think he's ever had anyone to ever talk to about those kind of questions. I have with Mariha and my family and Mariha with her family and Sean with his family, but Justin just doesn't seem to have the kind of family that would have those types of discussions.

Justin had a pretty good answer. Very short compaired to Sean and Mariha's, but I thought it was sincere. My answer was pretty short too. And I said that I didn't want to have kids until later on in life because they mess up your life and that got a rousing guffaw out of everyone. And they continued to snigger about it. And I said getting married screws up your life too and there was more sniggering. I think they got the impression I'm kind of cynical about married-with-kids life. And I am.

Not to be all about me or anything, but I have a lot of stuff in life I plan to do, and I'm of the frame of mind that if God brings along the right person, I will get married. And the whole children thing will be a team decision. I'm not going to plan that part of my life out. You know, Ok. At 21 I'm getting married. At 25 we'll have our first kid because my career will be off to a good, strong start. And then we'll have our second kid when I'm 31 and...
NO! I DON'T THINK SO!!! Thats stuff in life that you can't plan. All I can plan is what I want to do career wise and what I think the best plan will be. And if it doesn't work out exactly because of a guy or kids or whatever, that is something I'm going to have to get over or deal with.

Anyways. I'm rambling about that, aren't I?

Sooo...I didn't win the hambone *sniffle* But HA!! Neither did Logan! BWAHAHAHAA!! Naw. He really wanted it really bad. I didn't even get his email last night. I'll have to call him and demand a way to keep in touch. He was a pretty cool guy. Despite the fact that he was going to ask me to marry him during Thursdays practice...*sniggers* Sorry. I'm talking about inside jokes and none of you get it. I hate it when people do that. *hobbit hugs* But...I DON'T REALLY CARE. I mean...*ahem*...sorry...Hehehe...there are far too many pauses in this paragraph...oh well...once again...I don't care...Heh heh heh...Hehehehe....*is really sniggering a lot about this* Heheheheheheheheheheeeeeeee...

OK!

*Ahem* Thats enough Shell. Quite enough.

Well. I had lots to talk about, but I can't remember what it was.
Oh. The next question for the 'Coffee Questions' is "What is your biggest fear?"
Physicaly (like for me, deep water), but also mentaly. Like, being a failure or dying of cancer or something like that. Sean couldn't think of anything he as afraid of physicaly. I didn't think he's have an easy time with that, so thats why I thought it up. I like making people think (and squirm.), except that it backfired on me last time and I couldn't tell them my answer because I felt too stupid. I gotta get over that. It's the reason for 'Coffee questions'; for the 4 of us to get to know other people and learn to open up because we all want to really be friends, not just friendly aquintences. (thats not how you spell that...). At least for me, thats what its about.

Hhhmm...that should be the next question. "Why are we having 'Coffee Questions'?" I think I'm the only one who knows its named that. Because I name it. Just now. Go me. I think we should have t-shirts. YAY!!

I should go now. This post is wwaaayyy too long and you are falling asleep reading it becuase it is so BORING!!

Later
-Shell