*gasps* Someone...help...please...I'm....slowly dying...

I think I need to just drop off the face of the earth right now.

So. I take college level english this semester (Cheers for high ACT scores...in english...we won't go into the other scores.) and I've only had to hand in one essay so far this semester. The next essay is due next week. Now, I got an A first paper. It was simply a paper about someone that I knew (little brother) and it was good. (if you would like to read it, please say so, I would be more than happy to send it to you *cough* maybe...)

So yesterday was peer editing. We pass our papers around the class and they say if it sucks and you know.

I couldn't find a ruddy topic. It's supposed to be about a concept. So I finally chose to write about the Samurai valued honor and loyalty and to explain waht honor and loyalty is. It is fun. Except that I'm terrible at putting someone elses ideas down onto paper. I write fiction here, people!! Stories. I love them. I was at a complete and total loss about this essay so I took up 1/2 a page with this :

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The clash of steel, black robed men on horseback, secret meetings, and heros of the underclassmen. The picture that comes to mind when one remembers the ancient warriors of Japan; the Samurai, protectors of Japan during the 12th century. Men who were born into privilege, sworn to allegiance and would die for their country.

If one has enough to time to pause in the daydreams that crowd your mind when the word warrior is heard, one might wonder how the Samurai became the truly great men that they were. More often then not, the romanticized American version of warriors pervades our thoughts. We think of the hours of drills and sword fights, more pushups than an average person could stand, and vicious looking battle scares. When their training is complete, the drama begins. The handsome young Samurai is given his sword and told to ride off on his noble steed and save the world. On our imagination runs, seeing the battles he fights and hearing the cries of victory, until alas, our hero dies saving his captains life. A fellow soldier stands by the dying Samurais body, sobbing, and the hero dies with the words, “Tell her I love her.” on his lips.

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And now it will probably come up when they check it for plegarism. Ah well. It's my blog here people!!

Anyways. My draft was aweful. And I hate the whole paper (except for the drama part. Hehehe...) and UGH!! I just don't know what to do with it. I don't have enough time to be doing all that I am doing this month. Soccer, work, babysitting at least 3 days of the week, play practice, trying to memorize lines and dances, doing regular schoolwork. Finding time to research a paper is pretty much impossible. And final draft is due next week. Guess what I'm doing every single day this (and next) week? Play practice. Opening night is next Friday and we are so not ready. Like, you wouldn't believe how not ready we are. So where will the time to research that paper come in? Eehhh...dunno. I can't afford to fail this paper though. I have to get good grades or else there won't be any more college classes until next fall (when I'm actually in college).

Anyways. Nothing much has been happening. Just the normal play practice and stuff.

AUGH!!! I forgot to call her. I'll go do that (am at work...oh well). Am calling...bwahaha!! Phone calls at work!!

Anyways. Omg...the other night, I was talking to Sean and it was the oddest thing. You know how it gets very weird after someone looks you in the eye for a long time? You know your like "Uhhhmm...I gotta go now. Cause it's just...not normal anymore." So, we were talking after play practice and I was giving him crap about him not calling a voice teacher to get lessons and we both had said like "Yup, I gotta head home." And usually he's the one who rambles on and on and I'm like "I really have to leave." But that night, I happend to be the one rambling. I don't get to make fun of him very often, and the fact that I felt he was too chicken to do something was amusing to me.

But all the sudden he was just giving me the oddest look and the sudden silence fell and Shell didn't really have anything to say because it's so weird to have someone look you in the eye that long, ya know? And I was like "Hmmm...I shall intently study that sign over there." Cause this was all a very uncomfortable feeling. I study the sign. I look back: still staring. Go back to the sign...fiddle with my keys. Look back. Nope. Still there. Suddenly decide it is high time to leave. "Anyways! I'll see you later!" Shell leaps into her van and drives away, quickly.

I know that little ancedote of my life didn't make any sense or mean anything to you, and you really don't care, but it was totally weird for me. You have no idea how weird. Really. I am still bothered by it. We had practice last night and I was like "Ok. I'm going now. Goodbye." I refused to even give chance a moment. That feeling was just too uncomfortable.

Anyways. Next shift is here and I left lots for her to do and that is always a good thing (2nd shift is sooo boring)

Later
-Shell